Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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