Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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