that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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