Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
