oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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