Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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