two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
