Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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