I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
