I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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