Banned from zoo.
Again?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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