i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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