I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
