It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize