M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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