this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
They took my balls.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
