guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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