Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
