why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Semen is not good for contacts.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
