i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
