Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she looked like the before picture.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
