Yo dont text me then not text me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
