i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
