I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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