Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
