i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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