actually, I'm a sock model
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
