Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
