Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
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Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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