I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
