upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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