cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
