Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
