He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize