What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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