Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
