Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
