Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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