This is not my ceiling
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
