We're facebook friends in real life
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
