there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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