we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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