East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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