Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
