you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
