Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
