Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
