I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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