her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
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She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
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Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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