Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
