she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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