You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
