What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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