I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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