I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
