You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
