From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
do herpes really smell.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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