Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
