there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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