I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i've created a new STD.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
