Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
