I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
