idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
