Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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