So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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