Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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