I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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