Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
